Thank you all for your messages, emails, and comments! I really appreciated every single one of them. Yesterday was scary. But thankfully, I had my sister with me. We walked into the cancer center and said “I think we’re too young to be here.” We were surrounded by women in their 50’s and 60’s. They all had the look of “no big deal, I’ve done this before.” We looked like birds in a cage. Jittery, nervous, we laughed to ease the tension. Most women were in and out; one woman was called out with obviously bad news. It reminded me of all the time I spent at the cancer center with mom. It reminded me that we really have no idea what could happen next in our lives.
It wasn’t as bad as I thought it might be. It didn’t hurt. Although, it was rather odd having a complete stranger handle my boobs like sacks of flour (sorry, that was probably TMI…). I got the results immediately: no cancer. They said “See ya when you’re 40!” I said, “Sounds good.”
The swelling in Jax’s fingers is going down and the bruises are healing already. He’s going to be fine. I talked to the hospital Risk Department and they asked “What can we do to make this better for you?” Aside from the obvious: train your staff, I told them I did’t know yet. Probably nothing. Jax is ok. But seriously – WTF – how is this person working in a children’s hospital if she has no concept of gentleness? They are going to call me next week to let me know what steps they took to prevent this from happening again. I’m curious to hear what they have to say…
The courier just dropped off Jax’s Synagis dose for tomorrow (dose 3 out of 5). I’m so thankful this drug is available to us! While it is not a vaccine against RSV, it can help make the disease less severe if Jax does catch it. Since Jax is bigger now, the bill is bigger, too. This dose cost $2800. Thank God for good insurance!
Jax had an eye appointment today. I went in thinking we would get the usual “hooray – Jax’s eyes look great!” Unfortunately, that did not happen today. It is now very likely that Jax will need laser surgery to combat the ROP. The Doc is concerned that the blood vessels are still not as mature as they should be. She also found blood in his right eye, which means the bad vessels may be rupturing. The surgery requires general anesthesia and will take approximately 30 minutes. *SIGH* Another surgery.
Rather than risk general anesthesia twice in one month, we are going to try to combine the hernia surgery and the eye surgery. This would be ideal because then he only has to go to the hospital once and be put under once. We should know later today or tomorrow if they will be able to combine the surgeries.
I’ll admit, I’m deflated by this news. Even though we always knew this was a possibility, I had let myself believe that the Avastin injections would be enough. I suppose in the grand scheme of things, this is not that big a deal (you know, like compared to heart surgery). But, I’m still worried about his vision – the surgery does pose a risk of blindness or partial vision loss. I’m worried the most about him going under anesthesia. One silver lining is that he has had a chance to grow and get stronger over the last couple of months, so hopefully he will be able to bounce right back after the surgeries.
We’re really looking forward to the weekend. Steve’s brother and his family are coming into town from South Dakota. Jax is sooo excited to meet his cousins, Mia, Sam, and Will, for the first time! Will is two months younger than Jax. I already know these two are going to have a blast together (and probably cause some trouble) when they get older! It will be fun to spend time with the family, celebrate all the good things in our lives, and relax.
We’ll think about the surgeries later…