Dear Little Boy, On Your Birthday

Dear Jaxson,

These past three years have been the best and the most terrifying years of my life. From the second I saw you, fighting and kicking in your incubator, I knew you were going to keep me on my toes.

You have pushed me harder than I’ve even been pushed before and because of it, I’ve come out on the other side a stronger and better person. You have shown me the value of hope. You’ve taught me to slow down and appreciate the little things around us, like ants and the wind. You’ve taught me grace. You’ve taught me that I am not in charge around here, and that’s ok.

You have a smile that lights up a room. You show empathy and concern when someone is hurt or needs a hug. You have an uncanny ability to make everyone laugh with your jokes and funny faces. You have a special gift of communication and connection. People like you.

You have an amazing imagination. You can play with your trucks for hours. You “rescue” other trucks from trouble. You make race tracks out of anything. You sense of wonder is inspiring. You love tinkering with things and figuring out how they work. I think you get that from your Grandpas! You notice things that most people don’t notice and that helps us value our surroundings more.

You’re learning how to navigate the world on your own. You’re learning how to brush your teeth, put on your pants, and put away your laundry. You sleep in a big boy bed now. You’ve started pushing me away sometimes, telling me “Mommy, GO!” It’s my job to give you space to learn and grow, but my heart breaks a little bit when you show me you’re ready to try something on your own. I lose myself in your cuddles now because I know there will come a time when you won’t want a hug from your ol’ mom.

You are three years old today, my love. And while your entrance into this world was not what we expected, I am in awe of how far we have come as a family. You are living proof that a positive outlook can make everything better. You are proof that hope and love are enough. You are proof that miracles do happen.

Happy birthday, sweet boy. I love you.



micro preemie born at 23 weeks in incubator

micropreemie celebrates third birthday

birthday boy

little boy with truck