Today is my mom’s birthday; she would have been 59 years old. It’s hard to believe that it’s been almost five years since she died.
I wish she were here to teach me how to be a good mom. I wish I had her help, her support, and her answers. I wish she were here to help us navigate the scary brain tumor diagnosis and everything that comes with having a child with a brain tumor.
I think back to our days in the NICU when Jax was so tiny and sick. I missed her then, too.
I was scared and struggling. I reached out with my mind to search for the positive energy that I knew had to be hiding somewhere between the IVs and monitors and alarms. I closed my eyes and all of a sudden, I felt her. Her big, beautiful angel wings wrapped around us and I felt calm. Jax stopped flailing, his heart rate stabilized.
I looked up and saw Jax’s NICU nurse watching us. “What are you doing?,” she asked. I didn’t really know how to answer her. I said “I’m learning how to be a mom.”
She replied “OK. Let me help you.”
There were angels among us.
Check out my post today on Preemie Babies 101: How NICU Nurses Helped Me Learn to Parent.